So Much Potential

It's another boss story that has to be told.

After travelling transcontinental then getting up at 3:30 in the morning to board more plans from third world airlines, then getting in a FIAT and driving for two hours we arrived in BFE Croatia.

BFE Croatia isn't like BFE North Dakota.  BFE Croatia is like an undiscovered (inexpensive) Almafi Coast -- it's just that it's small and the Julie McCoy of this operation did not do the one thing I asked her to do.

Make a hotel reservation.

They offer the boss a dorm room at the prison we are surveying.  It was presented as:  No sheets, no pillows, no towels, a porta potty, and a shower across the way.  I heard this and sent the boss on his way to tour the facilities and ran (full sprint) to the Fiat and drove (like a bat out of hell) to the harbor where I saw a seriously nice 4 star hotel.

I secured two rooms ... with breakfast.

CLICK HERE TO SEE PARADISE

I returned to prison.

To find that they fixed him up in a dorm room with a shower, toliet, towels, sheets, pillows, blankets, and even a couple of Ritter Sport bite sized chocolates on his pillow.

What did I get:  I was offered the previous room under discussion -- with a few additions: 3 girls, one of which sounds like she is dying of bubonic plague.

I had to go cancel (was told to go cancel) said reservation at hotel with bathroom, pillows, blankets, a restaurant with market umbrellas and a view of the Adriatic.  

Indecently:  I packed no pillow, blanket, sheets, shower shoes, or crap like that.  It was suppose to be a hotel trip.

Finally:  I froze my ass off last night and ... knowing what was going to happen... Simon (travel bear extraordinary) jumped ship at the hotel in Germany.  So, to add insult to freezing unbathed ass injury, I no longer have my bear (with no sand in its ass).

One more night in Croatian Prison.

Cut Backs Kid

so just shut up already.

LOCATION:  Delta Crown Room Tampa

WHO:  Rolly poly kid with glasses that looks like he probably openly ate paste as a 6 year old but now that he's 10 he has taken his habit into the closet.  GRANTED:  He'll probably grow up to be Brad Pitt hot but if I was his parents (at this moment in time) I might be a little concerned about his future social acceptability.

WHAT:  Hot bartender who was probably the Jr. High Bully and dated the homecoming queen.  However, (more then likely) he partied too much at FSU and his grade point dropped below .9 so now he bartends at the Crown Room.

INCIDENT:  It's as old as the beginning of time -- Older bully (in this case much older and probably out of practice) against the kid with the spare tire.

So the kid happens to be kind of a jerk.  What do you expect when your parents are rich and uninterested in raising you ... Bartender recognizes this -- and he's probably seen it a million times. 

Kid asks for a coke.  Bartender says "your parents will have to come up here and order that -- I can't serve children".  Then the kid starts in (full-on bitching and moaning) on "how com you only have trail mix and pretzels -- where are the cookies, cheese, and muffins -- how come you don't have any food."  

Bartender replied:  "what do you call pretzels ... there's plenty of food there."

Kid starts having a temper tantrum (like this will help his cause) and he poses the question to the bartender again (like the answer will change).

Bartender replies:  Cut Backs Kid so you may as well shut up about it.

Then the kid ran to complain to his parents about the rude "waiter".  

Parents in-turn ignored the kid.

I wonder what kind of adult he'll end up being.

but what does it REALLY mean....

When your very hot - ok let's be honest... he's beyond hot - massage guy (who wears very cute shoes -- which is all you can see when your face down on the bed with the face toilet seat) says:

"you have nice eyes"

I'm confused because he has not seen my eyes at all.  In fact, he's pretty much seen all of me EXCEPT my eyes since I keep them closed (tight / no peeking ... ok ... maybe once) so I don't see all of his "hot-ness" while he's pulling on my toes!

I'm sure it probably means he's surprised at the freak-a-zoid eyelashes.  What he doesn't know is that I have MD LASHFACTOR to thank for my Tammy Faye Baker effect.

Update on Wednesday, September 2, 2009 at 0:04 by LIFETRASH

Had to create a new category called "HOT GUYS" just for Massage guy. Maybe I should re-post TINO under the "HOT GUYS" category as well.

Update on Sunday, September 6, 2009 at 12:28 by LIFETRASH

I saw massage guy as a car ... It was driving down bayshore blvd. He was a black, 78' Aston Martin ... the engine begging to pull away from the 40MPH restriction but the driver keeping him harnessed to a low growl. I think I need to make a massage appointment.