Unpurchasable Entertainment

The Result of Craigslist

The guy across the courtyard likes to play WII in his underwear.

The man that lives in the penthouse has 3 college aged girls living with him.

The woman who lives below the half naked WII player eats 7 times a day and watches American Idol. 

The people on the third floor have no furniture and they let their child play basketball in the living room.

And... sadly ... my neighbors have an uncle that recently killed someone in a drunk driving accident. 

I'm thinking of taking up naked yoga.

I almost feel like its my duty to add to the Euro like closeness and contribute to the show.  Granted, the neighbors I had in Germany could always be counted on for genuine entertainment ... not just tantalizing tidbits (like the man in the penthouse with the harem).  

When ever there was a girls night you could count on the Serbian God to be changing lightbulbs or painting with his shirt off -- exposing his perfect, dark skinned Eastern European 6 pack.  Or the German couple in the townhouse behind me to be partaking in a little kitchen table lovin'.  

But alas, this is America.  A country founded upon puritanism.  For most Americans the idea of nudity is the space between the shower and the towel.  

I think the WII guy holds promise -- after all, he's already half naked and he plays with a fair amount of passion and enthusiasm.  By the way ... he wears boxer briefs.

The Truely Tasteless

The worst week yet -- convienced there is no such thing as Karma. I even gave the lady at the post office a coupon for a free Big Mac -- just a random postal worker. So as the weeks just seem to be getting worse the least expected thing happened. Funsucker calls up at 11:00pm wanting to tell me a joke: QUESTION: What are Farrah Fawcett and Micheal Jackson getting for Christmas? ANSWER: Patrick Swayze Sadly ... my Karma will never change since I kind of had a giggle.

Craigslist and the Modern Condition

In the spirit of full disclosure (the good / the bad / and the ugly) I got some news on Friday that would fit in the ugly category.  It completely took me off guard, which lately is hard to do since I've had to have my guard on full Deflector Shield.  I was so taken by surprise that I almost hypervenilated and passed out.  I didn't pass out, but I had to full-on stop everything I was doing because the world started to look like the rabbit hole in Alice and Wonderland.

First:  My biggest phobia (is completely irrational) is becoming homeless.  I always look at the little homeless village I pass every night on the way home from work and I'm convienced there is less then 10 steps from where I sit to where they sit.  Wierd, I know, but it could happen.

I have to move. 

I won't get into details but I'm not taking any kind of financial loss or anything like that ... so really it's no big deal, except for the fact I have to move.  And I'm single and own a mini cooper.

Solution:  Sell life on Craigslist.  Start over (again).

Update on Sunday, July 19, 2009 at 13:20 by LIFETRASH

In 18 hours I have sold $1200.00 of my life. As I do this I wonder how I will reinvent myself and I contemplate how much some of these people want my life as they come in my house an rumage through all the this and that, that is me.

Update on Wednesday, July 22, 2009 at 22:28 by LIFETRASH

I feel like all the people on Jerry Springer now own my stuff. Where do these people come from. Every single one of them has a story as to why they need the thing I have. The stories are facinating. Craigslist should be a reality TV show. The TV producer puts together this house with a bunch of stuff in it and then they post it all on craigslist. Then just sit back and watch the humanity come to you. In fact, if you live in a place without much people watching -- just put your stuff on Craigslist and people to watch will come to you.